There is a First for Everything

So today was my first training session.  8 of us (I think) met at 8:30 and started out after a few minutes of stretching.  We walked for 4 minutes and then Alyssa announced that it was time to run for a minute.  When I say I haven't run since I was 10, I really think I mean it.  I was scared and my legs felt like lead but I did it.  All I kept thinking was how my jiggly butt must look to the people behind me.  I couldn't believe how quickly the minute passed and while walking for 4 minutes, I thought maybe I can do this.  Then we ran again and I truly think my legs were yelling at me.  It was harder the second time and even harder still the 3rd time, but I did it.  We rounded out the 25 minutes with a cool down and then some final stretching.  All in all it wasn't bad, easy to say now that it is over.
 So here is my official "before" picture. I hate this picture because it is a reminder of why I have to do this and how much I have let my health and body go in the past 10 odd years.

   I also hate it because in my mind I still look like this:

Well maybe not exactly but....

So with my official "before" picture clearly plastered here, I have great motivation to keep going.  It is time, and as much as my jiggly butt might hate it, I will "Just Do It" and can't wait to see the "after" picture!

Goal one- to fit into running shorts and shirt!  I bought an official running outfit from Target and will be returning it because I will not be seen in public in such a monstrosity, and my "touching thighs"(insert private joke snicker) made the shorts bunch up in a most uncomfortable way.  Maybe by the time this race is over I will feel more comfortable in running gear.

The best part of the run, besides doing it with Alyssa, Shneequa and Michelle (my amazing co-workers) was the location.  I decided to drive back through the city and I swear the clouds were whiter, the sky bluer and the city sparkling.  I enjoyed seeing the city through my endorphin filled eyes.

I spotted these guys along the way and who doesn't enjoy a little running eye candy? (One other reason I am doing this)

Almost home, I also spied this little bit of inspiration.

So now I am feeling a little squishy and invigorated and look forward to enjoying the rest of the day cleaning up dog mess (poor Lulu is sick), cleaning, doing laundry and other mundane tasks that need to get done. 

Training Day 1 Done!

Just Do it

I think I am a little bit in love with the Nike executive that came up with that slogan because that is exactly what got me off the front porch this morning, into my shoes and out the door.  Well that and a little prodding from my friend, Shannon. It was so cool out this morning that I was already contemplating going for a little walk when Shannon messaged me and said to "just do it".
 Without giving it much more thought, I took my shoes for a walk.  30 minutes, that's all- DONE!

Now here you would think that I came back from my walk all inspired and a changed person.  Hold on now, not so fast.  I walked for about half an hour- have no idea how far, but my pace was definitely brisk and was making a wide circle around the school.   At first I was sorta enjoying it, the birds, the scenery and the feeling that I could actually maybe enjoy this.  Then the sweat started, just a little at first but enough to make me panic and want to turn around and stop, until I realized I was about at the half way point, either direction I went I would be the same distance from home. I pushed on and tried to concentrate on the songs and the nature around me.  The sweat was starting to drip and about the time I reached the school my legs were starting the feel like jelly.  On the home stretch I was starting to feel good but was completely overcome by the knowledge that once I walked in the door the sweat would really start to pour.

I told myself that I was going to sit in the sweat for awhile, really feel it and know that it is ok, I can do this.  So here I sit, wiping sweat off my face and watching it drip on the table in front of the laptop.  I am not a happy camper but I know that I am going to have to get used to this sweating thing and learn to like it. 

So there you have it- my first "training session" if you will. Tomorrow maybe I will "just do it" again?? 

Time to shop for a good sweat band or running hat- my running "outfit" that I bought at Target makes me look like the Michelin man so that is going to be returned and I will stick to my oversized T-shirt and sweat capri's for now.

Until then,

Taking a shower

Looking Good

This sums up my feelings about running/walking.  I love my new shoes, and have been looking into clothes to wear for this adventure.  Somehow I don't think that an oversized T-short and shorts are going to cut it, but that is really all I have to go with.  The problem is that this is my usual lounging on the couch attire so I think my body may get very confused when I decide to take these for a run and add in some sweat.  I shutter just thinking about it.
Which brings me to the big question- NO I have not taken my shoes for a walk yet.  I am sure they are getting anxious, but I, however, am not.  Everyday I still think about it but haven't gotten any closer to tying those laces.
I blamed it on the heat wave this week as I had several air conditioning sweat sessions in my house that I thought would kill me. This morning it isn't that bad and I have been debating all morning about going for a nice walk.  As you can see, here I sit, typing, sipping coffee and watching Live with Kelly.  I also just told ALyssa that I would watch Uncle Jesse (Aka John Stamos) on the show so I can't possibly go out and walk now.
SO maybe later, maybe not.  One day I will, at least I know that I will be walking on Sunday, July 29th- my first training session.  I think I have to save up my energy for that, after all I have no idea what my coach has in store for me.
Until then,
Pinning running pics

Insert "The Lazy Song" Lyrics

All life demands struggle. The very striving and hard work that we so constantly try to avoid is the major building block in the person we are today.
Pope Paul VI

Ok first I have to get this off my chest, I have yet to walk.  Ok now that feels better.  I have been "thinking" about walking a lot, everyday as a matter of fact.  If I actually spent as much time walking as I did thinking about it, I would have already walked multiple 5K's.  I cannot tell you how unmotivated I am to actually do this. It sounds so silly, it's just walking right? (I can't even contemplate running at this point) It really comes down to my fear of starting, the fear is actually crippling.  Wow that sounds creepy, I mean its not like I am facing the zombie apocolypse right? 

 I keep telling myself that I am doing this as a means to an end- the end being the person that I want to be this time next year.  I may not like the path, struggles and pain that it will take to get me there but it is the way I have been given.  I am choosing to treat this like all of the difficulties in my life, my divorce, loss of my best friend, painful heartbreak and the day to day life of a single working Mom, and know that without going through those difficulties I would not be the person I am today!!  I have waited long enough for a healthy, appropriately sized woman to emerge from my couch.  If I don't do something now, I never will. 

Now you would think with all that positive energy flowing through me that I would be out walking right now, but NO.  I think I will just sit here and think about it some more. 

Until I walk,

Scarlett O'Hara 

P.s I am wearing my iphone armband today, listening to my music.  I think I should get points for that?  

If the Shoe Fits (or looks nice) Buy It

So here they are- my running shoes.  It was a very surreal experience yesterday getting these.  Alyssa works for Charm City Run which is downtown in a newer area called McHenry Row off of Key Highway. After having my feet measured and my stride evaluated on the indoor "track", she brought me out a few to try on.  When I put them on, I think I heard my feet sing.  This was certainly not the same feeling I had in Walmart, which is my usual go to place for tennies. After I tried them on, I got to walk on a treadmill while a camera recorded from my calves down to my feet to see if the shoes were the proper fit while I am walking.  We then watched the video back in super slow mo and I got to see exactly how I plant my feet with each step, how cool is that? Alyssa, very professionally, told me that we indeed have the correct shoe for my stride! I have to say, I felt a bit like a bride trying on wedding dresses.  Ok maybe not like that, but I did feel a deep connection with my shoes after such a detailed evaluation.

I had narrowed it down to 2 pair of shoes, and being the vain person that I am, I went with the ones that were the most aesthetically pleasing to me.  My feet felt the best in them, not just because they hugged my feet so well, but also because they made me smile more when I looked down at it.  Is this how a celebrity feels when they try on the dress that they just know is the right one before a red carpet event?

So shoes, an iphone arm band and a pair of socks later, I went out to the car, placed my shoe box on the passenger seat next to me, flipped the lid so I could see the shoes and happily drove back home to put them on. 

I walked around with them on for awhile at home and even wore them to take Grace to the doctor.  I felt kinda silly seeing as how my usual feet attire would have been flip flops and I wasn't actually doing any extensive walking or running, but I had to break them in and this was my excuse.  I also told myself that since I had the shoes on, I would take a nice walk around the neighborhood when I got home.  Yeah, that never happened.  Baby steps I guess.

Well it's all bought and paid for- the training sessions, the race, the shoes, socks and contraption to hold my playlists securely to my arm.  Now there is only one thing left to do- get walking.

Ole Devily is back, scratching at that back part of brain telling me that official training doesn't start until the 29th so I might as well take advantage of the next 2 weeks and relax.  My fully functioning, awake brain knows that all I have been doing for years is relaxing and it's time to kick the devil in the teeth and get out there and begin. Every fiber of my being wants to listen to the master of disaster himself and not walk until I absolutely have to and Alyssa is forcing me too. HA Sorry Alyssa.

 Hmmm it's gonna be a fight for sure, I wonder who is going to win?

Until then,

To walk or not to walk?

Running to Remember

Today I woke up stressed about going to get my shoes- the first REAL step toward this 5K experience.  Then 2 amazing things happened.  I clicked on a link on Facebook that a running friend often posts about and read the amazing story of a runner- you really need to go read her story- http://www.facebook.com/All4Running4Him  I immediately liked her page and knew this page would be a great source of strength for me- ahhh the powers of Facebook.  This made me think about all of this and my shoes, of course, so I sat down at the computer to find out where this store is and started checking out more info about this race I signed on to.  Well unbeknownst to me the Race is called Race to Remember and is being run on 9-9-2012.  Chills filled me as I immediately thought of my friend, Major Bob Marchanti who was recently killed in Afghanistan.  As the tears started I knew that I would run or at least walk this race in honor of him.  I felt a whole new resolve about this crazy experience.  It is no longer a matter of IF I will do this!

So I am off to the Farmer's Market with my amazing coach, Alyssa, and then down to Charm City Run to get my shoes and I know that Bob is riding on my shoulder the whole way! 

Until next time,

Thinking I may no longer be crazy
http://www.charmcityrun.com/page.cfm?pageid=179&pid=402&ptid=6

The Devil Made Me Do It!

7-11-12

So tomorrow I go and buy my running shoes.  Little did I know when I agreed to do this that it would cost me so much- and yes I do mean financially and metaphorically.  My first thought was nope, can't do it, don't have the money, and a small part in the back of my brain opened up and started yelling, "Yes, I have an out." But something made me shut the door on that voice.  I have no idea what it was, other than my resolve to do this, no matter what.  Or perhaps it is the influence of the amazing story that I have spent the last 3 days on the couch reading.  The irony is not lost on me, this most appropriate of book choice- The Walk by Richard Paul Evans about a man who loses everything, I mean everything, and decides to walk from Seattle to Key West.  I am so enjoying the story, but also applying what I am learning to this insane venture that I am taking.

So I'm shutting the door on a lot of voices in the recesses of my brain (At least for the next 2 months). I am viewing these voices as the Devil in his veiled attempt at conquering my life.  That might seem a bit dramatic but I must be so dramatic if I want to change the way I have been thinking.  That devil door has been opening up too often in my life, allowing me to make excuses for some of the things  that I feel (or allow myself) to be powerless to change.  Plus I am a pretty emotionally, dramatic person so I guess this fits. 

So new shoes it is.  I have never put much stock into shoes, hate them as a matter of fact, and have used my lack of proper shoe attire as a deterrent for many walking activities. Walking/running a 5K is all the more exciting, knowing that I will have the proper "equipment" on my feet.

So devil, you are going to have to do some pretty fast thinking and get creative to stop me next time.  I await your return, as I know it is inevitable.

Until then......

Am I Crazy????

Fear is in Control

7-7-12

When I woke up this morning, this was NOT how I had expected to spend my day.  But something in the back of my brain decided to take over.  My friend, Alyssa Lindsey, had invited me to join her running group training for a 5K.  She is the awesome coach.  Normally I would have laughed it off and politely deleted the email, hoping the topic wouldn't come up again.  But this time, I did something different, I thought about.  Could this be something I could do?  I trust Alyssa and have watched her train for Marathons and 50 Milers (which for a long time I read as 50 Millers) and have so much respect and admiration for her.  

I have no aspirations to run a marathon, let alone a 5K, but I do know that I need to get healthy. I live a pretty sedentary life by choice and cannot afford a gym membership, even though when I did pay for it, I went about 5 times in 9 months.  Obviously the gym is not for me.  I love to dance but alas have no partner and or resources for how to do this by myself.  I like to hike but honey hiking a few times a year isn't going to get me healthy and again I lack the resources needed to do this by myself. 

Enter Alyssa Lindsey with this opportunity.  Now this is probably the LAST thing that I would have gone out and sought on my own, but I chose to look at it as an opportunity instead of "not the right thing for me".  After all, how do I know unless I try.

So I think I am going to enter into this world of walking/running and see where it takes me(even though part of me knows it will involve lots of tears and sweat). Speaking of sweat- I HATE it, absolutely hate it, so expect lots of posts about my abhorrence of it.  There is not one part of me that is looking forward to it but I will treat this as a new challenge and if the only thing I get out of it is to strengthen my writing skills by keeping this blog, then that would be pretty amazing too! 

I have no idea what to expect, fully embrace the possibility that I can't do this and may drop out, but forge forward I will and will undoubtedly learn something about myself in the process.