Today I was thrilled to participate in the Koman For the Cure Walk as part of Team Halstead, It's All About the Boobies. There were about 22 of us from my school that were participating. Our meeting time was 6:45- yikes! It was easier getting up than I thought, even though it was still pitch black out. I guess I was excited to be walking my second 5K. Most of us met in the Dutch Market parking lot and braved the chill in the air. We had to walk about a mile and a half to the race village. On the walk there we lost half the group and after some texting and reorganizing we were able to meet up again just to stand around and wait. Some in our group were partcipating in the run and left early for that part of the race. The rest of us stood around for while until it was time to walk. I couldn't get over the number of people that were there. They were playing music and the overall festivities were amazing.
When it was time for the walkers we followed the crowds and before we knew it we were just whisked along with everyone else. The sea of people ahead and behind us was just overwhelming. It was quite a different experience than the first time as everyone was just stolling along. It was hard to stay together as a group and as hard as we tried, we just couldn't do it. When we reached the 1 mile mark we decided to keep going but it wasn't too long before we took a detour to head to breakfast. I was with some awesome co-workers who brought their young daughters along and when I heard breakfast food, I was in. It was about another half mile to a mile back to our car and I would say all in all I definitly walked 3 miles if not more. Even though the pace was leisurely, it was still a very nice walk.
We went to the Ashland Cafe where I was happy to feast on eggs, pancakes and bacon without any guilt. It renewed my desire to keep walking and get back into the swing of things. I want to find another 5K to walk in a few months and get back to training. Until today I hadn't walked since my fateful "thriller night" and I am not sure if it was because I was so traumatized, I just got out of the routine or I just haven't had the time.
I am going to make it more of a priority this week and really want to make the time for it but it has just been so difficult. Oh well, another challenge to overcome :)
Until then,
sleeping off the bacon!
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Thursday, October 11, 2012
It's Close to Midnight and Something Evil's Lurking in the Dark
After not eating well this week and not walking either I was bound and determined to walk today. First I had to drive my Daddy to work and then take Grace to gymnastics. By the time I got home I was starving and had to eat. So I enjoys some soup while watching The Ellen Show and gave my food time to digest.
The sun was starting to go down so I quickly dressed and started for the door. Only to be stopped by my lovely teenage daughter who was frantically trying to complete her homework and print something. Being the good mother that I am I stopped to help her as I watched twilight decend out the window.
Giving in to frustration I told her I had to go and stomped out the door. By this time the street lights were on.
It didn't take long after I left my street for the willies to set in. Every dog that barked, car that passed me or person taking the garbage out was coming to get me. The newspaper headlines kept running through my mind, "Parkville Mother of Two Abducted on an Evening Stroll." or "Grisley Remains of Local Jogger Found in the Fields behind School." The further I went the more I was convinced I wouldn't make it home.
I turned around and picked up my pace to just make it back to my street alive. Now I am not an overly suspicious person by nature. I don't like horror movies, not because I get scared but because I just don't enjoy the feelings of watching them. It isn't pleasant or fun to me.
I was more terrified of the unfortunate world in which we live in that share these unpleasant realities all too often. So here I sit on my beloved porch typing out my tale on my phone thankful that I made it home but completely discouraged that I didn't get my usual 2miles in (I barely made it a mile).
Oh well I have to say. I just have to have at it again tomorrow and hope that I can get back on track this week. I am completely worried about this getting dark early thing now because I know I won't walk in the dark again and even with the best intentions I won't get out of bed in the morning to walk. So I am going to have to find a walking or exercise program on TV to keep me going and I am not at all happy about that. But I have learned since I started this that nothing comes easy or without pain and challenge and sacrifice and I must learn to adapt. I may gain some weight back or not lose any for a few weeks but my resolve to finish this will set me back on the right path. As I have said before, I am keeping my eye on that prize and oh what a prize it will be!!
So until then,
Enjoy the lyrics to Thriller
It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the dark
Under the moonlight, you see a sight that almost stops your heart
You try to scream but terror takes the sound before you make it
You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes
You're paralyzed
'Cause this is thriller, thriller night
And no one's gonna save you from the beast about strike
You know it's thriller, thriller night
You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight
You hear the door slam and realize there's nowhere left to run
You feel the cold hand and wonder if you'll ever see the sun
You close your eyes and hope that this is just imagination, girl!
But all the while you hear the creature creeping up behind
You're out of time
'Cause this is thriller, thriller night
There ain't no second chance against the thing with forty eyes, girl
Thriller, thriller night
You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight
Night creatures calling, the dead start to walk in their masquerade
There's no escaping the jaws of the alien this time
(They're open wide)
This is the end of your life
They're out to get you, there's demons closing in on every side
They will possess you unless you change that number on your dial
Now is the time for you and I to cuddle close together, yeah
All through the night I'll save you from the terror on the screen
I'll make you see
That this is thriller, thriller night
'Cause I can thrill you more than any ghost would ever dare try
Thriller, thriller night
So let me hold you tight and share a
Killer, diller, chiller, thriller here tonight
'Cause this is thriller, thriller night
Girl, I can thrill you more than any ghost would ever dare try
Thriller, thriller night
So let me hold you tight and share a killer, thriller, ow!
(I'm gonna thrill ya tonight)
Darkness falls across the land
The midnight hour is close at hand
Creatures crawl in search of blood
To terrorize y'alls neighborhood
I'm gonna thrill ya tonight, ooh baby
I'm gonna thrill ya tonight, oh darlin'
Thriller night, baby, ooh!
The foulest stench is in the air
The funk of forty thousand years
And grizzly ghouls from every tomb
Are closing in to seal your doom
And though you fight to stay alive
Your body starts to shiver
For no mere mortal can resist
The evil of the thriller
The sun was starting to go down so I quickly dressed and started for the door. Only to be stopped by my lovely teenage daughter who was frantically trying to complete her homework and print something. Being the good mother that I am I stopped to help her as I watched twilight decend out the window.
Giving in to frustration I told her I had to go and stomped out the door. By this time the street lights were on.
It didn't take long after I left my street for the willies to set in. Every dog that barked, car that passed me or person taking the garbage out was coming to get me. The newspaper headlines kept running through my mind, "Parkville Mother of Two Abducted on an Evening Stroll." or "Grisley Remains of Local Jogger Found in the Fields behind School." The further I went the more I was convinced I wouldn't make it home.
I turned around and picked up my pace to just make it back to my street alive. Now I am not an overly suspicious person by nature. I don't like horror movies, not because I get scared but because I just don't enjoy the feelings of watching them. It isn't pleasant or fun to me.
I was more terrified of the unfortunate world in which we live in that share these unpleasant realities all too often. So here I sit on my beloved porch typing out my tale on my phone thankful that I made it home but completely discouraged that I didn't get my usual 2miles in (I barely made it a mile).
Oh well I have to say. I just have to have at it again tomorrow and hope that I can get back on track this week. I am completely worried about this getting dark early thing now because I know I won't walk in the dark again and even with the best intentions I won't get out of bed in the morning to walk. So I am going to have to find a walking or exercise program on TV to keep me going and I am not at all happy about that. But I have learned since I started this that nothing comes easy or without pain and challenge and sacrifice and I must learn to adapt. I may gain some weight back or not lose any for a few weeks but my resolve to finish this will set me back on the right path. As I have said before, I am keeping my eye on that prize and oh what a prize it will be!!
So until then,
Enjoy the lyrics to Thriller
It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the dark
Under the moonlight, you see a sight that almost stops your heart
You try to scream but terror takes the sound before you make it
You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes
You're paralyzed
'Cause this is thriller, thriller night
And no one's gonna save you from the beast about strike
You know it's thriller, thriller night
You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight
You hear the door slam and realize there's nowhere left to run
You feel the cold hand and wonder if you'll ever see the sun
You close your eyes and hope that this is just imagination, girl!
But all the while you hear the creature creeping up behind
You're out of time
'Cause this is thriller, thriller night
There ain't no second chance against the thing with forty eyes, girl
Thriller, thriller night
You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight
Night creatures calling, the dead start to walk in their masquerade
There's no escaping the jaws of the alien this time
(They're open wide)
This is the end of your life
They're out to get you, there's demons closing in on every side
They will possess you unless you change that number on your dial
Now is the time for you and I to cuddle close together, yeah
All through the night I'll save you from the terror on the screen
I'll make you see
That this is thriller, thriller night
'Cause I can thrill you more than any ghost would ever dare try
Thriller, thriller night
So let me hold you tight and share a
Killer, diller, chiller, thriller here tonight
'Cause this is thriller, thriller night
Girl, I can thrill you more than any ghost would ever dare try
Thriller, thriller night
So let me hold you tight and share a killer, thriller, ow!
(I'm gonna thrill ya tonight)
Darkness falls across the land
The midnight hour is close at hand
Creatures crawl in search of blood
To terrorize y'alls neighborhood
I'm gonna thrill ya tonight, ooh baby
I'm gonna thrill ya tonight, oh darlin'
Thriller night, baby, ooh!
The foulest stench is in the air
The funk of forty thousand years
And grizzly ghouls from every tomb
Are closing in to seal your doom
And though you fight to stay alive
Your body starts to shiver
For no mere mortal can resist
The evil of the thriller
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Stressed Spelled Backwards is Desserts
So I have kinda been all over the place lately. I have been stuck somewhere around 15 pounds down. Some mornings I get up and weigh myself and I am a little more and other mornings a little less. (lesson learned- don't weigh yourself everyday).
This week has been high high stress for me which in turn equal high high calorie intake. You see I am a stress eater. Well, and a lonely eater, and a bored eater and a celebratory eater and pretty much every other reason there is to eat other than hunger. This is why I have gained 30 pounds in the past 5 years.
Now that I am back to work full time after a wonderful summer off, the stress is beginning to pile on. The stress falls into 2 categories- Money and children. Thankfully work hasn't been a major source of stress, at least not once I walk out the doors- I have become exceedingly good at leaving work at work, always have been since Anna was born.
So that leaves money and children. Oh where to begin. First with the big green wads of bills that I am lacking- I have successfully figured out how to live a full week on $50.00. When that is ALL that you have to your name you just figure it out. Let's just say that I hope to never have to relive this week again, EVER. With the cost of EVERYTHING going up and my paycheck staying the same I have found that just paying bills and feeding my family is a major struggle that is requiring much thought and planning on my part to just make ends wave at each other, arms outstretched, hoping to one day meet. It is so frustrating to have the equivalent of 2 masters degrees and not be able to support this little family of 3. But as the saying goes- "Put on your big girl panties" or is it "This, too, shall pass"? Maybe I am looking for the one that says "God doesn't give you more than you can handle." Whatever cliche I am looking for I haven't quite found the one that puts 5,000.00 more dollars in my checking account a month. Hence stresser #1.
So now on to stresser #2 (have I lost you yet? Are you rolling your eyes at me and my complaining yet? I do have a point and will hopefully get to it soon so hang in there). Children- my 2 lovely, amazing, beautiful children that I made (in the dark haahaa). How is it that these wonderful creatures can cause me so much anquish and frustration? Oh let me count the ways:
1. The refusal to lift a finger to help around the house creating more mess for the Mama.
2. The endless questions and need for "things" that I must buy (see stresser #1).
3. The sicknesses and the attention that requires.
4. Homework (The Bain of My Existence!!!) If you have ever tried to help your child through math homework when they have given up, are tired and just don't want to hear another word from their "teacher" mother then you know what I mean on this one. Oh the fights are nasty and I struggle to squash my inner teacher voice constantly.
5. Dinner- planning it, making it, cleaning it up, fighting my picky child who refuses to eat what I make.
I think I will stop there but could go on and on and on.....
So this week has been pretty stressful (have I mentioned that?) and when Kristin gets stressed Kristin eats. Period, end of blog, point made.
SO I can hear you out there in blog land saying to yourself- "Walking is a great stress reliever." Yup I know, I know and I have walked this week, maybe once, but between the rain, After school activities, Grace being sick, me catching her cold and everything else that has piled on I haven't been able to walk as much as I would have liked which = more stress.
So what's my plan? Cause this stress sure ain't going anywhere, and wait, what is that I see around the corner? More stress of the unknown, as yet undiscovered, variety? Yup I am sure it is just there lurking. So (if you have stayed with me thus far, and I am not really sure at this point why you would have, but if you have) here is my plan:
Wake up tomorrow and figure it out all over again. Walk if I can. Count my calories and take a breather when I have to. Think about everything I am putting in my mouth and above all- forgive myself if I go astray and then get back on the proverbial horse and ride on through. There will be days that I just eat to make myself feel better and I cannot let those days cause me more stress by beating myself up because then it becomes the viscious circle of stress>eat>stress>eat and so on until I step on the scale and wonder how I possibly put all that weight on. This is my journey and there will be mistakes, there will be stress, there will be setbacks but one thing I can guarentee you- I will NOT be giving up. No one is without stress. No one is without trials and setbacks. And no one or nothing will destroy the power, the will and the detemination I have to keep moving forward!!!!
This week has been high high stress for me which in turn equal high high calorie intake. You see I am a stress eater. Well, and a lonely eater, and a bored eater and a celebratory eater and pretty much every other reason there is to eat other than hunger. This is why I have gained 30 pounds in the past 5 years.
Now that I am back to work full time after a wonderful summer off, the stress is beginning to pile on. The stress falls into 2 categories- Money and children. Thankfully work hasn't been a major source of stress, at least not once I walk out the doors- I have become exceedingly good at leaving work at work, always have been since Anna was born.
So that leaves money and children. Oh where to begin. First with the big green wads of bills that I am lacking- I have successfully figured out how to live a full week on $50.00. When that is ALL that you have to your name you just figure it out. Let's just say that I hope to never have to relive this week again, EVER. With the cost of EVERYTHING going up and my paycheck staying the same I have found that just paying bills and feeding my family is a major struggle that is requiring much thought and planning on my part to just make ends wave at each other, arms outstretched, hoping to one day meet. It is so frustrating to have the equivalent of 2 masters degrees and not be able to support this little family of 3. But as the saying goes- "Put on your big girl panties" or is it "This, too, shall pass"? Maybe I am looking for the one that says "God doesn't give you more than you can handle." Whatever cliche I am looking for I haven't quite found the one that puts 5,000.00 more dollars in my checking account a month. Hence stresser #1.
So now on to stresser #2 (have I lost you yet? Are you rolling your eyes at me and my complaining yet? I do have a point and will hopefully get to it soon so hang in there). Children- my 2 lovely, amazing, beautiful children that I made (in the dark haahaa). How is it that these wonderful creatures can cause me so much anquish and frustration? Oh let me count the ways:
1. The refusal to lift a finger to help around the house creating more mess for the Mama.
2. The endless questions and need for "things" that I must buy (see stresser #1).
3. The sicknesses and the attention that requires.
4. Homework (The Bain of My Existence!!!) If you have ever tried to help your child through math homework when they have given up, are tired and just don't want to hear another word from their "teacher" mother then you know what I mean on this one. Oh the fights are nasty and I struggle to squash my inner teacher voice constantly.
5. Dinner- planning it, making it, cleaning it up, fighting my picky child who refuses to eat what I make.
I think I will stop there but could go on and on and on.....
So this week has been pretty stressful (have I mentioned that?) and when Kristin gets stressed Kristin eats. Period, end of blog, point made.
SO I can hear you out there in blog land saying to yourself- "Walking is a great stress reliever." Yup I know, I know and I have walked this week, maybe once, but between the rain, After school activities, Grace being sick, me catching her cold and everything else that has piled on I haven't been able to walk as much as I would have liked which = more stress.
So what's my plan? Cause this stress sure ain't going anywhere, and wait, what is that I see around the corner? More stress of the unknown, as yet undiscovered, variety? Yup I am sure it is just there lurking. So (if you have stayed with me thus far, and I am not really sure at this point why you would have, but if you have) here is my plan:
Wake up tomorrow and figure it out all over again. Walk if I can. Count my calories and take a breather when I have to. Think about everything I am putting in my mouth and above all- forgive myself if I go astray and then get back on the proverbial horse and ride on through. There will be days that I just eat to make myself feel better and I cannot let those days cause me more stress by beating myself up because then it becomes the viscious circle of stress>eat>stress>eat and so on until I step on the scale and wonder how I possibly put all that weight on. This is my journey and there will be mistakes, there will be stress, there will be setbacks but one thing I can guarentee you- I will NOT be giving up. No one is without stress. No one is without trials and setbacks. And no one or nothing will destroy the power, the will and the detemination I have to keep moving forward!!!!
Until Next Time,
Passing on the Pie
Saturday, September 29, 2012
A Peek Inside
In almost 9 weeks I have lost 13.5 pounds and can now successfully walk at an average speed of 3.7 mph without any pain. I am more than a tad bit happy with myself and am almost half way to my first goal of losing 30 pounds! I had also, at one point, sorta kinda set a semi-goal of maybe one day running. You see, when I first started this I really thought that I would just go out and run. I am not sure what warped part of my brain that thought came from but reality has sure smacked some sense into it. As I have thoroughly detailed in this blog, running was not an option for me- hell walking some days was barely an option.
Well since the race I have been able to walk without anymore shin pain and just a few times with mild ankle discomfort. So I thought I would revisit my semi-kinda goal of running. On my nice chilly walk early this morning I thought that maybe I would give running another try. So here is a peek inside my thought process as I was walking:
Self- "This weather is so nice and it feels so good to walk. My pace is really pretty fast this morning. Ok when I turn this corner I think I am going to try running."
I turn the corner and hop from the road to the sidewalk ready to run.
Self-"Oh wait a man with a dog, nope not gonna try it now. I will just wait til I get to the next street, that is a nice flat stretch."
Continue down the street and nod politely at the man with the dog.
Self- "Ok so I am now on "the" street it is time to give running a try, ok I will start after this house. Oh wait, woman washing the car, not gonna run now and risk being seen by washer woman."
I pick up my pace and head toward the stop sign and the next turn.
Self- "Oh hold on, this part of the walk is uphill ok I am not going to try running up hill. I will wait until I get to the downhill part."
Listen to Rascal Flatts "I Melt" and refrain from singing the words out loud.
Self- "Ok it is time to start running downhill. Darn cute man in his yard. Go inside cute man I can't run past your house now. Darn it. Ok I think I will try running down Harris, it is long and flat and is about half way through my walk."
Easily glide down the hill and past cute man's house and around the corner onto Harris fully ready to run for as long as I can make it.
Self-"What is that? Cars everywhere, people everywhere. What is going on here? Oh no- soccer on the school fields. Hey Dad and kid get out of my way, I am trying to walk here."
Disappointed I stear out into the street to avoid Mom, Dad, Gramma and boy with soccer gear.
Well at this point I gave up trying to run and just decided to walk the rest of the way and concentrate on my music and the beautiful weather. When I am ready to run and get beyond my silly high school embarressment I will give it a try. Until then, I will keep picking up my walking pace and be happy with the progress I am making.
So there you have it- a little peek into the musing going on in my brain as I walk. I don't know if I will ever run and honestly I am ok with that. My pace is great and I am losing weight which is really my ultimate goal. I did not go into this to run a marathon and still do not have aspirations of that. At this point I would just be happy to run for 30 seconds and not end up crippled. So to all those runners out there- Mad Mad props to you cause I truly know how hard it is and I apologize for ever thinking it was so easy that I was just gonna get off my couch and run for as long as I wanted. Silly me!
So until I decide to run,
I'll be walking
Well since the race I have been able to walk without anymore shin pain and just a few times with mild ankle discomfort. So I thought I would revisit my semi-kinda goal of running. On my nice chilly walk early this morning I thought that maybe I would give running another try. So here is a peek inside my thought process as I was walking:
Self- "This weather is so nice and it feels so good to walk. My pace is really pretty fast this morning. Ok when I turn this corner I think I am going to try running."
I turn the corner and hop from the road to the sidewalk ready to run.
Self-"Oh wait a man with a dog, nope not gonna try it now. I will just wait til I get to the next street, that is a nice flat stretch."
Continue down the street and nod politely at the man with the dog.
Self- "Ok so I am now on "the" street it is time to give running a try, ok I will start after this house. Oh wait, woman washing the car, not gonna run now and risk being seen by washer woman."
I pick up my pace and head toward the stop sign and the next turn.
Self- "Oh hold on, this part of the walk is uphill ok I am not going to try running up hill. I will wait until I get to the downhill part."
Listen to Rascal Flatts "I Melt" and refrain from singing the words out loud.
Self- "Ok it is time to start running downhill. Darn cute man in his yard. Go inside cute man I can't run past your house now. Darn it. Ok I think I will try running down Harris, it is long and flat and is about half way through my walk."
Easily glide down the hill and past cute man's house and around the corner onto Harris fully ready to run for as long as I can make it.
Self-"What is that? Cars everywhere, people everywhere. What is going on here? Oh no- soccer on the school fields. Hey Dad and kid get out of my way, I am trying to walk here."
Disappointed I stear out into the street to avoid Mom, Dad, Gramma and boy with soccer gear.
Well at this point I gave up trying to run and just decided to walk the rest of the way and concentrate on my music and the beautiful weather. When I am ready to run and get beyond my silly high school embarressment I will give it a try. Until then, I will keep picking up my walking pace and be happy with the progress I am making.
So there you have it- a little peek into the musing going on in my brain as I walk. I don't know if I will ever run and honestly I am ok with that. My pace is great and I am losing weight which is really my ultimate goal. I did not go into this to run a marathon and still do not have aspirations of that. At this point I would just be happy to run for 30 seconds and not end up crippled. So to all those runners out there- Mad Mad props to you cause I truly know how hard it is and I apologize for ever thinking it was so easy that I was just gonna get off my couch and run for as long as I wanted. Silly me!
So until I decide to run,
I'll be walking
Sunday, September 23, 2012
The Life of a Single Mom
Sometimes being a single Mom is just too much for me to handle. Today is one of those days.
My head has been healing well (until today) and I set my sights on walking again today. It has been too long and dare I say I actually miss it.
Well here is how my day went:
Anna has been working in the church school so we have been regulars at church again- YEAH! I spent some quiet time in church praying about my walk today that I was actually looking forward to. I prayed for no pain and the ability to increase my distance without too much dificulty. After church I had to pick Grace up from a birthday party sleepover. After depositing the girls at home, I threw in a load of laundry and did the dishes. Then it was time to go to a wedding shower in Bel Air. I spent a lovely afternoon with my Bestie, Sandy, as we celebrated her daughter, Ashley's upcoming wedding. By the time I left it was 5:00 and I knew that I had to get to the grocery store. Anna was furiously texting me telling me how hungry she was because she hadn't eaten all day. Oops I guess I forgot to feed them lunch but they ARE old enough to feed themselves. I frantically ran through the grocery store gathering ingredients for Quesadilas (Anna's dinner of choice) and other ingredients that I needed for school lunches and the crock pot meals I wanted to make this week. I was completely stressed at this point about being able to get my walk in before dark.
Upon arriving at home Anna made herself a quesadilla and Grace and I made ours as I also attempted to unpack from the store and gather all the materials for the crock pot meal. I have a faculty meeting tomorrow and knew that I would need a ready to eat meal upon arriving at home later than usual.
I furiously browned the meat and dumped everything into the pot. At this point Grace started to complain of a stomach ache. I was alternating between cleaning up the kitchen and tending to her. This is a typical ailment of hers after a sleepover and I took my frustration out on her which caused both of us to end up in tears. At this point the sun was gone and so was my mood. I was so mad that I had missed my opportunity to walk- oh wait, I didn't have one today :(
Oh yeah, and then there is my head- one of the staples really started to hurt today which is causing me worry. I may have to call the doctor tomorrow if it continues to bother me. It is pretty sore and I haven't had any real pain since Monday.
Since I couldn't walk, I hoped in the shower to wash my hair and have a few minutes to myself and hide my tears with the shower water.
Grace is now crying and wanted my attention so I better go to her and coax her off to bed so that I can get there myself and start again tomorrow. Yup today was not a good Mommy day. Oh well. Tomorrow I get to do it all over again.
Until Then,
I got nothing
My head has been healing well (until today) and I set my sights on walking again today. It has been too long and dare I say I actually miss it.
Well here is how my day went:
Anna has been working in the church school so we have been regulars at church again- YEAH! I spent some quiet time in church praying about my walk today that I was actually looking forward to. I prayed for no pain and the ability to increase my distance without too much dificulty. After church I had to pick Grace up from a birthday party sleepover. After depositing the girls at home, I threw in a load of laundry and did the dishes. Then it was time to go to a wedding shower in Bel Air. I spent a lovely afternoon with my Bestie, Sandy, as we celebrated her daughter, Ashley's upcoming wedding. By the time I left it was 5:00 and I knew that I had to get to the grocery store. Anna was furiously texting me telling me how hungry she was because she hadn't eaten all day. Oops I guess I forgot to feed them lunch but they ARE old enough to feed themselves. I frantically ran through the grocery store gathering ingredients for Quesadilas (Anna's dinner of choice) and other ingredients that I needed for school lunches and the crock pot meals I wanted to make this week. I was completely stressed at this point about being able to get my walk in before dark.
Upon arriving at home Anna made herself a quesadilla and Grace and I made ours as I also attempted to unpack from the store and gather all the materials for the crock pot meal. I have a faculty meeting tomorrow and knew that I would need a ready to eat meal upon arriving at home later than usual.
I furiously browned the meat and dumped everything into the pot. At this point Grace started to complain of a stomach ache. I was alternating between cleaning up the kitchen and tending to her. This is a typical ailment of hers after a sleepover and I took my frustration out on her which caused both of us to end up in tears. At this point the sun was gone and so was my mood. I was so mad that I had missed my opportunity to walk- oh wait, I didn't have one today :(
Oh yeah, and then there is my head- one of the staples really started to hurt today which is causing me worry. I may have to call the doctor tomorrow if it continues to bother me. It is pretty sore and I haven't had any real pain since Monday.
Since I couldn't walk, I hoped in the shower to wash my hair and have a few minutes to myself and hide my tears with the shower water.
Grace is now crying and wanted my attention so I better go to her and coax her off to bed so that I can get there myself and start again tomorrow. Yup today was not a good Mommy day. Oh well. Tomorrow I get to do it all over again.
Until Then,
I got nothing
Monday, September 17, 2012
Halloween Came Early
Thanks to Jewish New Year schools are closed today!! Not really thinking that I might want to sleep in, I made a doctor's appointment for 8:45am to have a basal cell removed from my scalp. Basal Cell is a cancer but is not life threatening and just needs to be removed and voila done. I had one removed on my cheek 2 years ago and it was really no big deal. Well in my mind this was going to be just as easy and I could resume my day, grocery shop and get some cleaning done.
Not so fast :( I had done what's called a Mose procedure where basically they cut out the cells and examine them under the miscrosope to make sure they got it all. If not, they remove some more. I can thank myself for having to go through this because I waited so long to have it looked at that those pesky cells took root. So as my luck would have it, they had to go back 3 more times in order to get it all, resulting in a quarter size hole on the top of my head. A flap had to be created to cover it and 13 staples place in my scalp. Ok, so not what I was expecting at all. You would think that I would be worried about my hair. No, not so much. I was most concerned at the large bangage on my head that basically covers the whole top of my head. yeah right. Bummer.
Fortunatley I am still numb so don't feel anything but anticipate some throbbing tonight so I better get to my sub plans and resolve to get through this like everything else the Devil throws at me.
Utnil then,
Not so fast :( I had done what's called a Mose procedure where basically they cut out the cells and examine them under the miscrosope to make sure they got it all. If not, they remove some more. I can thank myself for having to go through this because I waited so long to have it looked at that those pesky cells took root. So as my luck would have it, they had to go back 3 more times in order to get it all, resulting in a quarter size hole on the top of my head. A flap had to be created to cover it and 13 staples place in my scalp. Ok, so not what I was expecting at all. You would think that I would be worried about my hair. No, not so much. I was most concerned at the large bangage on my head that basically covers the whole top of my head. yeah right. Bummer.
Pretty right? I have to wear it for a full 48 hours which means Wednesday afternoon. The whole time I was stressing about work and how I could not face those children with this thing on my head. I wasn't thinking about the pain I might be in with 13 staples but the horrified looks I was going to get from my neighbors and coworkers and students. I was not happy. I was even less happy when she said no exercising for 2 weeks, until the staples come out. WHAT? I had certainly NOT planned on this one. I am tentatively teetering on a 12 pound weight loss and lord knows what 2 weeks of not exercising will do to that. Oh Devil you just love
to toy with me.
So that's pretty much it- after I can take the awful bandages off I have to vasoline the site until the staples come out on October 2nd. Big Sigh. At least I didn't have any hot dates lined up :) Fortunatley I am still numb so don't feel anything but anticipate some throbbing tonight so I better get to my sub plans and resolve to get through this like everything else the Devil throws at me.
Utnil then,
Searching for a Channing Tatum movie
Saturday, September 15, 2012
The Black Butterfly Day
Since the race I have been struggling a bit to stay focused. I think I have walked twice this week and only for 30 minutes each. Eating, on the other hand, has been a harder struggle. It's kind of ironic that for the past 6 weeks the walking was the hard part and the eating was a breeze. The 12 pounds just seemed to melt off.
Today I kinda feel stuck. I have been trying to make good choices but I have stopped counting my calories on My Fitness Pal. Everyday I have logged in my breakfast but then I stopped. The past 2 days have not been great and I can feel it in my body. Part of me feels like I gained the whole 12 pounds back and I am trying to refrain from jumping on the scale every morning.
I have to get centered again and be more faithful with logging in everything I eat. I did it once, I can do it again. And as my new water bottle says.....
I have agreed to walk the Komen Breast Cancer walk on October 21st. What a perfect way to keep me focused and walking. I knew when I went in to this that it would be a year long process. I am on this journey until next summer so I have to keep moving forward. This was not a 6 week deal, so I have to figure out a way to keep going and not quit so I am greatful that this race came up exactly 6 weeks after the Run to Remember.
So back to today and trying to get rebalanced. I knew that I was kinda slipping with my food choices (mostly quantity not quality) and I went into today ready to get back on the horse. Well I didn't do that well as I found myself starving all day. This is frustrating because the way I was eating for the past 6 weeks I was never hungry. As usual, I fed my hunger and ended up eating alot. And no, I didn't log in my calories either.
I know that I will get back on track, it isn't a matter of if, but when. I will just try again tomorrow. This journey will not end and I know this because of a little visitor I had today.
I was sitting on the porch reading when I heard a faint thud next to me. I looked over and a black butterfly had landed on my People magazine. I didn't see where it came from and the bizarre part is that I had both my front and side shades pulled all the way down. It was like it literally dropped out of thin air.
At first I was in awe and sorta amused that it landed on the People Magazine like it was reading it. I let it sit there and I went back to reading, expecting it to take flight any moment. Well it never did. I started to become fascinated with it and even gently nudged the magazine to see if it will move. It didn't. HMMM now I was starting to get a little freaked. Could it be dead? I nudged again. Nothing. By now I was convinced it was dead and I developed a horrible dread. What does it mean when a dead black butterly falls out of the sky and lands a foot away from you? It couldn't be good.
I immediately went to Google and searched "The symbolism of a dead black butterly" and "black butterfly meanings". The results were alarming, mostly detailing death. But then I came upon this eloquent quote, "Black butterfly is associated with change, transition, freedom and rebirth. It is symbolized as death - assume it as the death of all the bad things and misfortunes." I loved this!!! And that is just how I initend to see it. By nature, I am a symbolic person. I see symbolism in many things- some true, some not so much. This poor dead black butterfly was reminding me that I was on a journey of change and rebirth and I now had the resolve that I needed to keep at it and get back on track. Thank you little dead black butterfly!
Well that is not where the story ends. I wanted to keep the little guy and maybe frame it (as a friend on Facebook suggested) so I got a tupperware to pack him away in. I moved the magazine to the table where I was going to try to scoop him in with the lid but I kept getting way freaked out. At one point the wind flipped the front cover over dumping the butterfly on the table under it. This made me jump and run for the door. Anna was there and I handed her the tupperware and told her to do it while I literally hid behind the door. I was inside the house just peaking my head around the corner while she started to scoop the poor thing into the container. In my defence I have a "flying thing" fear. I don't like birds and anything that can just fly right at you.
I went in the house, not wanting to watch and I hear Anna yell, "It's not dead." She ran in the house to tell me that it took off flying!!! We laughed and couldn't believe it! Fly little not dead anymore black butterfly!
So long story short, my journey continues, I am no where near done. I think I just took a breather, kinda like the butterfly, but tomorrow I fly again!
Until then,
Gonna watch me some Katniss
Today I kinda feel stuck. I have been trying to make good choices but I have stopped counting my calories on My Fitness Pal. Everyday I have logged in my breakfast but then I stopped. The past 2 days have not been great and I can feel it in my body. Part of me feels like I gained the whole 12 pounds back and I am trying to refrain from jumping on the scale every morning.
I have to get centered again and be more faithful with logging in everything I eat. I did it once, I can do it again. And as my new water bottle says.....
So back to today and trying to get rebalanced. I knew that I was kinda slipping with my food choices (mostly quantity not quality) and I went into today ready to get back on the horse. Well I didn't do that well as I found myself starving all day. This is frustrating because the way I was eating for the past 6 weeks I was never hungry. As usual, I fed my hunger and ended up eating alot. And no, I didn't log in my calories either.
I know that I will get back on track, it isn't a matter of if, but when. I will just try again tomorrow. This journey will not end and I know this because of a little visitor I had today.
I was sitting on the porch reading when I heard a faint thud next to me. I looked over and a black butterfly had landed on my People magazine. I didn't see where it came from and the bizarre part is that I had both my front and side shades pulled all the way down. It was like it literally dropped out of thin air.
At first I was in awe and sorta amused that it landed on the People Magazine like it was reading it. I let it sit there and I went back to reading, expecting it to take flight any moment. Well it never did. I started to become fascinated with it and even gently nudged the magazine to see if it will move. It didn't. HMMM now I was starting to get a little freaked. Could it be dead? I nudged again. Nothing. By now I was convinced it was dead and I developed a horrible dread. What does it mean when a dead black butterly falls out of the sky and lands a foot away from you? It couldn't be good.
Well that is not where the story ends. I wanted to keep the little guy and maybe frame it (as a friend on Facebook suggested) so I got a tupperware to pack him away in. I moved the magazine to the table where I was going to try to scoop him in with the lid but I kept getting way freaked out. At one point the wind flipped the front cover over dumping the butterfly on the table under it. This made me jump and run for the door. Anna was there and I handed her the tupperware and told her to do it while I literally hid behind the door. I was inside the house just peaking my head around the corner while she started to scoop the poor thing into the container. In my defence I have a "flying thing" fear. I don't like birds and anything that can just fly right at you.
I went in the house, not wanting to watch and I hear Anna yell, "It's not dead." She ran in the house to tell me that it took off flying!!! We laughed and couldn't believe it! Fly little not dead anymore black butterfly!
So long story short, my journey continues, I am no where near done. I think I just took a breather, kinda like the butterfly, but tomorrow I fly again!
Until then,
Gonna watch me some Katniss
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