Where Do You Find Your Inspiration?

If you are reading this post expecting my usual quip about running and weight loss you may be disappointed. If you have followed this blog, then you know that I can be vulnerable and emotional at times, expect just that from this post.  If you want to close out and wait for the next, more rational post, then I am ok with that! I have done some pretty weird things in my life, some I just laugh at and others are cringe worthy, but this one might just take the cake in terms of weirdness for me.

 You see the past month my life has been consumed by one thing- Gavin Degraw and his music.  I am undecided if this is 1. a midlife crisis 2. normal fan behavior or 3. yet another example of me losing my mind.  

One day in January I innocently came across a video on Youtube of Gavin.  I can't even remember what song it was but I was instantly hooked by his voice, his songs and his charm.
 I have had his song, Not Over You, on my playlist for years and it has always been one of my absolute favorites, but I never paid attention to who sang it (sorry Gavin).  Well I am sure paying attention now!! His songs are soulful, emotional and his voice is pure raw genius.  His lyrics are heart-wrenchingly emotional- just my kind of songs! 
As the fates would have it, I got the opportunity to see Gavin in concert and to meet him on February 9, 2013 and it was a true highlight of my life.  I have had very few opportunities for complete joy in my life (other than the joy my daughters, family and friends give me) so this was an all consuming feeling for me. 

If you have never had the opportunity to watch some of his videos or seen him live, I highly recommend it- especially if you are as lucky as I was to be front row, right on the stage!  I can't wait to see him again but unless I am upfront and get to chat with him again, it just won't be the same. 

Now I did not go to the concert anticipating meeting him, this would have been beyond my wildest dreams and I couldn't let myself even entertain the possibility  After the concert ended, before I knew it, he was standing in front of me, shaking Anna's hand and asking her name.  I was blown away by the attention that he gave to each person he met, looking them right in the eyes and making them feel so special for that brief moment.  He was beyond humble and of course as cute as a button, as usual.

I do not like it of me at all...but he is perfect! 

Ok before I get too sappy here, let me digress.  I am trying to learn a few things about myself from this unexpected gift.  Here are some things I have discovered:
1. I have been lacking excitement in my life lately.
2. Music is a big part of my life. 
3. I have a deep appreciation for emotionally creative people.
4. I find joy in the most unexpected ways.

So now let me see if I can connect any of this to my weight loss journey....hmmm why yes, I think I can!

As you know from previous posts, I have sorta lost my mojo during the holidays and running/weight loss have been difficult and slow.  I am still losing- hit 21 pounds this week- yeah me! but since October I have, at best, maintained my weight loss.  I think I just became bored with my life in many areas.
Well meeting your favorite celebrity and seeing yourself in pictures associated with said celebrity do something to you. I wanted to look my best, I wanted to feel my best and as a result I am now, more than ever, ready to lose more weight and get back into running. I am looking forward to running a spring 5K with Gavin in me ears the whole way!  So Gavin, I thank you for that inspiration!  
This journey has helped me connect with myself on a level I never thought possible.  Last night another Gavin fan posted this on twitter and it resonated with me- "Meditation practice isn't about trying 2 throw ourselves away and become something better, it’s about befriending who we are."  Pema Chodron

Thank you Nicole for this quote!  For while I have changed so much during the past 7 months, most importantly I have become my own best friend.  I have found out some things about myself that I like and some things that I don't, and I embrace both.  I have also come to the realization that while I may be a middle aged women obsessing about a musician 9 years my junior, I am perfectly fine with that. It may not be for everyone, but it is working for me, bringing me unexpected happiness that I think I was lacking in my life.
 I am not expecting anyone to understand it, you can call me crazy if you want(won't be the first time) but his voice and songs have brought me a peace and calm and I am ok with that.
I know now that it is important for me to channel this into other areas of my life.  I have not read any books, listened to any other music or written in the past month and I do miss those things about my life that I always loved, so I must try to find balance between these things. This is the next part of this journey.  Gavin will still be a big part of it, and hopefully new inspiration for my writing and exercise!
Some people find inspiration in a book, others find it in an athlete or mentor.  I have found it in song and in one voice in particular.
So all in all, I thank you Gavin Degraw for your songs, for your voice, for your adorableness and for helping me to learn more about myself than I ever thought possible.  After all, isn't life all about finding your own happiness?
This week I am taking all of this joy and channeling it into other areas of my life that need a bit more of it- like my treadmill- I will pour out my joy on that darn thing, with Gavin in my ears of course!
Until then,
"I am trying with Perfect Faith"
-Gavin Degraw