To Resolve or not to Resolve

resolution [rez-uh-loo-shuh n] Show IPA/ˌrɛz əˈlu ʃən/ Show Spelled
Part of Speech:	noun
Definition:	determination, strong will
Synonyms:	aim, boldness, constancy, courage, dauntlessness, decidedness, decision, declaration, dedication, doggedness, earnestness, energy, firmness, fixed purpose, fortitude, guts*, heart*, immovability, intent, intention, judgment, mettle, moxie*, obstinacy, perseverance, pluck, purpose, purposefulness, purposiveness, relentlessness, resoluteness, resolve, settlement, sincerity, spirit, spunk, staunchness, staying power, steadfastness, stubbornness, tenacity, verdict, willpower It comes that time of year when new resolutions are made, some are quickly forgotten, others painfully slip away and still others are hard won.  I looked up the definition of resoltuion and I love the synonyms given.  I wasn't going to make a resolution until I read the synonyms and determined that my resolutions were already made, in fact they were made on July 29, 2012 and if you are a follower of this blog then you know what it is. My favorite synonyms that I will carry into the new year are "staying power", "constancy" and "fortitude".  I actually had to look up the definition of fortitude and I love it- "Courage in pain or adversity."  I also like the synonym "pluck" but only because I think it is a funny word. When I looked up the definition it means, "To take hold of and quickly remove from its place" and also "spritited and determined courage".  I like this word even more now. So no, I am not making resolutions in the tradition sense that NYE often forces people to do. I am not going to list all the things I will or will not do in 2013.  Instead I will forge into 2013 with the staying power and constancy needed to continue the journey I started in 2012.  I will face challenges with pluck and fortitude.  I am very excited to meet the person I will be on December 31, 2013. Until then, Keep Calm and Pluck on!

Choices, Chances and Changes

I made a choice and took a chance and my life has changed!  As the year comes to a close I have spent a lot of time reflecting on everything that has happened this year.  I can't believe all the things that I have learned about myself in the process.  I knew I needed to change and by making difficult choices, I have chosen to change! It hasn't been easy or exactly how I expected it to be but I am on the right path and the overall results are simply amazing.
Before this week, I was hoping to have hit that pivitol 20 pound mark.  I was so close to my 20 pound weight loss and I thought Christmas was a great goal for that.
Then this week hit.  Saturday my family went out to lunch for my Dad's birthday, Saturday night we had dinner at my neighbor's Christmas party.  Sunday we celebrated Christmas with my girl's stepmother, Monday was Christmas Eve celebrations at our family friends and Tuesday was Christmas.  Well I quickly realized that I was putting too much pressure on myself and setting myself up for failure.  While I did make good choices at all of these events, I also was eating out of my normal routine and eating things that I normally wouldn't have eaten.  Therefore, I have not gotten on the scale since last Friday and I am happy with that decision.

There is no doubt in my mind that I will get back on track and hit the 20 pound mark soon enough.  By not putting that kind of pressure on myself, I was able to fully enjoy the holiday and everything that came along with it- including my Mom's chocolate pie.
I am feeling healthier, my mind is clearer and I am happier than I have been in many many years.  This is a big win for me, aside from what the scale says.
I am still keeping my eye on the prize and with that comes the realization that the prize does not have a date attached to it.  My original goals are still the same- to be thinner by next summer, to be comfortable with my body and to be able to wear cute work out clothes without looking like the Michelin Man.  I am still on that journey and am very proud of myself and my accomplishments.
When I started this, knowing myself so well, it was never my goal to be an uber fit, running fanatic, who knows the calorie count of everything and talk about weightloss and exercising related to every topic- I can't stand that and never have aspired to be that person.  If I want to eat full fat butter, or put sugar in my coffee then I am going to do it.  I didn't get fat by eating full fat ice cream or popcorn with butter every now and then and I am not making those little changes in my diet now.  I got fat by eating too much of everything and being a couch potato. The key to weight loss is to eat less and move more- that is it- period! 
So my journey continues, some weeks will be harder than others.  Some days I may not walk or count my calories, but others I will and in the long run I will lose weight and be healthier and reach my goal this summer- of this I have no doubt.
So for now, I am enjoying my week off of work, no questions asked, no worries, no pressure.  I will make good choices but ultimately I will enjoy this little gift- time with my family, time to myself and time to reflect on this years journey.  Before I know it, I will be back to work, back to my regular routine and back to counting calories and pushing myself to run a little bit more every time I get on the treadmill.
Until then,
Smiling at my accomplishments so far

Truth and Progress

"We don't get to choose what is true.  We only get to choose what we do about it."
I read this is a book and immediately copied it down and thought just how many things I can apply this to in my life.  I was overweight and unhealthy- truth.  For too long I didn't do anything but complain about it and hope it would change, but truth is funny like that- it doesn't change just because we want it to.  The only thing I had control over was what I was going to do about it.
And it has been hard there is no doubt about it.  This journey is not about it being easy, it is about changing my truth.  What do I want my truth to be next July- that was the driving motivation for me when I started, still is.
The only way I am going to get there is step by step progress.  It may not be pretty, it certainly won't be perfect but as long as there is progress then I am on the right path.

Today I saw that progress.
I had not walked for 2 or 3 days and I knew that I had to walk tonight and I was actually looking forward to it.  My routine has been to watch The Ellen Show while I walk 2.5 miles and it takes me about 45 minutes to do both.  After walking for a few minutes, I decided to run for a bit.  I have done some 30/30 intervals recently and the last time I walked, I ran for 3 minutes straight.  I decided today to push it to 5 minutes since my shin splints are not bothering me and I just knew I could do it.  Plus I really wanted to text my cheerleader, Shannon, and tell her I ran for 5 minutes.  HA that's motivation.
I did it- ran at a speed of 3.7 for 5 minutes.  I remember when I first started walking on the treadmill my speed was between 2.7 and 3.0 and I have been slowly increasing it and was able to stay around 3.7 for about 10 minutes (running for 5) before I took it down to 3.2 and then 3.0 for the rest of the walk.  Now THAT is progress.
I remember very well back to August when I could barely walk for 5 minutes without my shins hurting and wanting to give up.  Now I am running for 5 minutes.  I think the first time I ran, it was for a minute and I thought I was going to die.
Progress is made in steps, literally, and each step is toward a goal.  Keeping my eye on the prize and never refusing to give up!  I have 4 more pounds to lose before I reach 20 pounds gone and I am hoping to lose them by Christmas- that gives me 7 days.  Not totally impossible but I am also not setting myself up for failure- ANY loss will be progress and I will be happy and any way you look at it- the progress I have made since starting this journey in July is a Christmas miracle!

My truth is that I am making progress.  What I am choosing to do about it is to continue to make progress!
Until then,
Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas

Jingle All The Way (Tales of my second 5K)

I did it!  I completed my second 5K and it almost didn't happen!

When I woke up I could hear the rain coming down outside.  WHAT?  I must have missed something- were they calling for rain?  I hadn't even considered rain as a possibility but I knew one thing- I was screwed.

I have no rain coat and no running rain gear- my goal is to look cute in running clothes and since that hasn't happened yet, I don't have the appropriate attire and have to make due with what I do have and it really doesn't cover rain.

Michelle called and we decided that we would go and see what the rain did but that if it was really raining at the start we wouldn't do it.  I was ok with that. I think that little voice in the back of my head (The devil voice) was secretly hoping that it would down pour.

But we went and even though it rained the whole way down, we were able to go inside the arena which was nice as we still had about 40 minutes before the start.  The bad part of this was that we couldn't see outside to know if it was raining- thankfully I had my radar app and kept a close eye on it.

I wish I had taken a picture of the radar because right at 8:50 it was like a dry bubble opened up over Baltimore City and we knew we were in.

Inside the area- how cute are we?

I was blown away by the crowd and it made the start very difficult.  Unlike the Run to Remember where 99% of people ran, I would say with the Jingle Bell 90% were walking.  So on one had I felt better about that but really people?  This isn't a leisurely stroll- at least for me it wasn't.  It made keeping up my pace really difficult.  I was stuck behind crowds of people chatting and playing on their phones (really???) and even an umbrella wielding lunatic.  Every time I tried to pass her she would start swinging the umbrella and I couldn't get by.  I was frustrated with my pace and wanted to be going faster. 

The first 1.5 miles were rough, mainly because of the crowds but my shin splints were also acting up.  I had hoped to run a little but wasn't sure my ankle and shins would let me.  We entered Patterson Park and I had a complete flashback to about 1999 when I went to the Polish Festival in Patterson Park with Anna and my then husband.  I couldn't believe the person I have become since then and I happily smiled and picked up the pace. 
As we wound around the park, the runners were coming down the other way past us.  I watched them longingly and thought maybe one day.  As I came back out of the park I had reached mile 2.  I felt really good at this point and was hoping to run a bit, after I conquered the hill up ahead.

I noticed at this point in the walk that I have to make a new playlist for when I walk.  Every song I was listening to was about a relationship, a breakup or heartache.  I was chuckling to myself as I sang along with Bruno Mars It Will Rain.  Kinda appropriate but yeah, kinda not.
So the downhill portion began and I could almost see the finish.  The only problem was the lane was narrow and the crowds denser.  I couldn't get around them to even attempt to run, which I was thinking I might want to do.  I looked at my phone and realized that if I wanted to come in under my Run to Remember time I would have to pick it up.  This became my new goal and I squeezed between a cell phone playing girl and a car and walked a bit faster.  I took my phone out and watched the seconds click by as I briskly made it into the arena and the finish line!  53.50!  I did it- .76 seconds faster than the Run to Remember- my first PR (which I now know means personal record). 

Michele was right at the finish line and I was so happy.  I felt amazing and couldn't believe that I had done it...again!
Even as I sit here now, I feel great!  After the Run to Remember I wasn't sure I could do another one- now I KNOW I can and I will.  Maybe by spring I will be ready to run some of it- a new goal! :)
If not, I am happy to be a fast walker, as long as I start and finish, that is all that matters.
Until then,
off to decorate the parents tree!

Gooooooaaaaaaalllllll (said like a Spanish Futbol announcer)

THE END!!